As a former military spouse, I have learned how important documentation is to keep yourself and others accountable. Unfortunately, I have been lax about it since we left the military. It is far past the time to be keeping notes about our fight with the VA and my husband's disability. So, here I will be keeping those notes. 
So, I will start with a brief synopsis of the situation up until now. In 2003, my husband enlisted as a combat engineer (21B) in the U.S. Army. In January 2004, he was assigned to Korea (Camp Howze) and was there until March 1, 2005. We were married 4 days after he came home and we were stationed at Ft. Hood, Texas. He signed in on March 15, 2005, and we were there until he was separated on December 1, 2010.
October 1, 2006, his unit was deployed to Iraq (Camp Poliwada, Balad). They were extended beyond 12 months and returned in early December 2007. During the deployment we adopted our son from Guatemala. It was difficult, but we did our best to stay connected. When he came home, he decided to re-enlist and did so soon after he returned home. We also bought a house as our intention was to make the military our career. Our expectation/plan was for my husband to become a warrant officer and fly helicopters. We would have our home to rent out while we moved, but would try to be reassigned to Ft. Hood after a while to give our son stability. 
Another deployment began in December 2008 and lasted 12 months. He was stationed at Camp Diamondback in Mosul. I noticed that there was quite a difference in our communication. During this deployment there was a tragic incident at Ft. Hood when a soldier killed many other soldiers preparing to deploy. My husband called to make sure I was okay and to relay messages to other wives from their husbands (at this point, my husband was a sergeant and was very capable and compassionate with his soldiers). I did notice, at that point, the extreme concern and anxiety in his voice. I also noticed that he was very consistent with contacting us nearly every day for video chatting and often had a hard time ending the calls. I did hope, however, that it wasn't anything serious.
And ... things changed. Two months after he came home, on our fifth anniversary, he was dropped during an PT exercise and broke his collar bone. His ssgt. sent him to the clinic, on his own, meaning he drove a manual car with a broken collar bone on the right side. He ended up in surgery and he continues to have trouble with his shoulder to this day. He went from being a well-respected soldier with a great first sergeant, to being treated like a lazy, pos soldier. I had noticed he was far more anxious, sleeping less and had a lot more trouble around people - especially those he didn't know. After many long talks, I had finally encouraged him to make an appointment with mental health. I was surprised that it took him a couple of weeks to finally reach someone to make an appointment and then the earliest appointment was almost 3 months away. He had called in May and his appointment was set for late August.
We flew to Arizona for my brother's wedding in July, 2009. The trip was extremely difficult for my husband. His anxiety around all of the new people was out of control and he left several times during the trip, one time walking away with no direction. All may be normal or not completely odd for some people, but it was something very odd for us and signaled to me that things were far more serious than I imagined.
During his mental health appointment he received a profile stating that he could not remain in the field overnight, was not to use a weapon or be around simulated combat situations. He was prescribed several medications as well. Surprisingly, to me at least, the profile of him and several other soldiers was ignored. Without going in to details, my husband was brought out from the field and taken to mental health. I met him there and the psychiatrist suggested that he be returned and monitored either at his unit or, preferably, at home. Again, his captain ignored the doctor and intended to return him to the field. At this point, his mental state deteriorated to the point that his ssgt suggested to me that in his opinion I should ignore what the captain said and take him to the hospital to be admitted. So, I did.
I must take a break and will continue later.
